Dear Diary,
Sorry for not writing for ages. Did not know what to write but I expect that this will be quite a long one. So please do have some patience with me! =)
Childhood
Been involved in this faint obsession to watch kids play in the playground and any other places lately. Pedophilic?? I don't think so. It is just this reminiscent(did I get the spelling right?/) feeling that I like very much. Watching these kids play makes me realise that I haven't really had much of a childhood. I was the only child in the family until my brother came on. But by then, I was already in primary school and studies begin to take some toll on me. I had been closely related to sports in my childhood years. Wushu, basketball, badminton especially. To train takes up time too and spider catching, marbles, and police catch thieves sort of game became distant to me. All I had were Teenage Mutant ninja Turtles figurines to keep me company. Sigh... those were the sad days...
Currently
Although opened up quite a bit, I realised that I am still the rather introvert, quiet, shy and reserved kind of guy. However, all my friends it seemed bears no such simlarities with me. In fact, in my opinion, in my 18 years of life, all my friends are those happy, sociable type...Hmmm...that is quite a strange thing isn't it.
Have not yet come to pass
I foresee myself as being lonely all my life. Seriously, I don't see how I am going to get myself a girlfriend, much less a wife. That appears to be a rather sad thing right?? Arghh! Cannot wallow in such pity anymore... Must be more optimistic.. Hilary Duff will be my wife in the not too distant future...
Crap
It all happened not too long ago. I was wandering along the streets of Gombak when I saw her. She was dressed in white and blue, thin, skeletal to be exact. She was the most beautiful thing which I had ever set my eyes on. I just can't take my eyes off her. Red lights, all around me, all around her. Men, grouchy little dirty things could not keep their dirty little hands off her. I was agitated. How could they touch something so pure and innocent. I looked at her...she did not look back at me. I asked for her price and she said that 300dollars would suffice. Red lights, all around me, all around her. I bought her. I could not take it anymore. We assumed our positions, like two wild dogs of different gender would in an Animal Planet documentary. Red lights all around me, all around her. I panted, sweat drops the size of golf balls rolled all over my body. We were in motion. My lower half of my body could not stop moving. She had chains and I just could not restrain myself from jackhammering on her. Red lights, all round me, all around her. We were one in that 45 minutes of motion. The feeling was ecstatic. And then I got up, parked my bicycle and went home...

Mondays are my off days and I spend the day in my own house doing nothing. Tried looking for an extra part-time job to do in the night but all the hotlines were busy. Damn it. Thus, I decided that all was in vain and I went to register for my driving test. Hope that I can pass it on my first try and start to drive around Singapore. There are lots of place that I can go to with my dad's old car which is perpetually idle in the carpark. I want to go for some holiday overseas. I might quit my job after february and go to some places in Malaysia and if I can earn enough money, I might go to New Zealand and have a look at all the Lord of the Lord Of the Rings sites. Anyone interested?? There are certainly many places in Malaysia that are worth visiting. Limestone caves, and forests and waterfalls etc... Did I mention that it will be a backpack trip?

Dear Diary,
Christmas passed like any other day except for the company of a bunch of guys crowding in a guy's house, round his TV, watching the others play some stupid gory, mind boggling, head nudging, back breaking, ah-ngiam typical wrestling game which I think, except for the realistic graphics, can be used as a tool to promote violence in the society. Ah Ngiam just like this kind of stuff...he's known for that since secondary days.
Nonetheless, rain keeps spoiling things for all the fun. I was only starting on a second game when the rain overtook Daming and made him unconscious enough to knock some fillings off Wai. Hmmm...I wonder how he's doing now...Will he become something like Remedios or maybe he just needs more calcium...I don't know... His teeth does not look to be in good shape. Daming must have been some Shaolin monk in the past... My head would have cracked had I been in his shoes.
5 more days to the new year!

Watched Return for the second time today. Woohoo!! Movies are a really perculiar thing. It just seemed to be better when someone treats you to it. Haha. Tears welled up in my eyes again especially the parts whereby Fararmir pleads his father to think better of him and the other near Mount Doom where Sam says, "I can't carry it for you but I can carry you!" The bonds of friendship shook me like never before. Theoden was also damn cool. All my hairs stand when the battle cry was shouted by the Rohirrim. I guess this where the word "shiok" comes in. Nevertheless, Mithrandir was the most awesome. The guy with the Ring of Fire, or Narya if anybody ever took notice of the ruby ring he wore at the very end of the show.Never knew that he could wield his staff like that. Tolkien certainly did not foreseen it in his book. Movie of the year?? Well, I guess it is good enough to be Movie of the Century. Star Wars are for sissies...

Went for a wedding dinner yesternight. Under the settings of a beach (I forgot which one...should be one of those nameless ones..) at Sentosa, a beautiful sunset, the sea breeze blowing right into your face, the food and the MCs spoil it all. The food was horrible. Damn it. I could have cooked better stuff though the ingredients might be a little more exotic. The MCs were even worse. Keep telling lame jokes that were not in the least funny. I guess lame jokes can be divided into 2 categories. The first one are those which you listen to them and you get stunned, stoned, a big drop of sweat falls over your face and a crow just flies over you. When this kind of lame jokes are told, it is often a time when snowman can be built openly in the botanical gardens of Singapore. The second category refers to those which you just carry on doing your things without any inclination to want to beat up that person or to excrete that big drop of sweat. You just don't care about that person anymore if you get what I am talking about at all. The Mcs last night told jokes of the second category. Man, noise pollution with lousy food. How enjoyable can the sunset be??

Death is not the end....it is just one of the paths which we all have to take....

Dear Diary,
Let me try my hands on some poetry today.
The Gardener
Lugging a watering can,
Walking all over the sand.
So much so that I cannot stand.
My hands are so stained,
With the spade in hand.
My legs are all maimed.
Ever long was the day
So much so that I cannot stand.

Blazing sun above,
Barely shadowed by the many doves.
Still looking for love,
So much so that I cannot stand.
Standing by the ticket berth
Is a boring assignment which I had to come to terms.
Vanda Miss Joaquim,
Is not entirely full of germs.
Dendrobium and oncidium
Can never be compared to a single worm.
So much so that I cannot stand.

The gardener is so pathetic,
I hope he is a psychopathic.
Work in the day and sleep at night,
I hope he is a psychopathic.
He heard that he is cyrogenic,
But that was far too cheem.
I sure hope that he is psychopathic...

Shit lah what in the world am I writing...

2 more days to LOTR...YummmIE!!!

Dear Diary,
Saw the spiderman 2 teaser trailer. Drooled. Afterall, Dr Octapius is one of my most loved super villains ever, right after Agent Smith. The movie made him looked so cool...damnit...if justice ever prevails over evil, I would never support those righteous heroes anymore. But, Spidey still rules!! Big Time!!
3 more days to LOTR!!!!

Dear Diary,
People have been talking about loneliness most of the time as I can see from all the blogs which I had surfed. Some people I know, some people I don't. Some of the loneliness are brought about from the lack of friends, or true friends as man are...man...."man are weak" as what Elrond always say. Man has lots of desires, that is why it always leads to scarcity. That is also where economics come about. The demand for friends or to be specific, true and good friends are always out-stripping the supply. Loneliness is also like physics. Newton's first law...the law of inertia...you will figure it out...unless a net force suddenly come and nudge you out of the inertia, ie, the reluctance of an object to change its state, it will stick to you like a gargantuan leech embedded on you. Loneliness is like maths...you can never find a measure for it. Maybe it is like a little climatology...polluting all the little natural defensive system you have against it while contributing to it all the time. This is the way I view loneliness... and nobody likes it.
Quote of the day:
All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you....Gandalf Greyhame
4 more days to LOTR

Dear Diary,
Today had been a rather interesting day. Met the clarinet soloist frrm TKGS who happened to be more chio than what she looked like 2/3 years ago when we first met. Our meeting was rather freaky with me joking that TKGS' school song is "Di Tanjong Katong..." It sorta annoyed her and i dunno, we began arguing about I-forgot-whatever-it-is. So she came to the Orchid gardens today and saw me pruning the fruit trees. Haha, a rather freaky meeting too. She was wearing a white sleeveless and a darn short pants while I was wearing those sort of a big straw hats typical of gardeners. She began laughing at me and we got into a rather interesting conversation. Sigh... if she does not already have a boyfriend, I might lauch an attack on her... But perhaps I might be too hum ji in the end, afraid that if the attack fails, I might lose a friend which is already not too many. That will be a rather sad story.
I am beginning to feel it, diary. The loneliness of those sleepless nights, the loneliness of a boring, nothing-to-do afternoons. !8 years of my life passed by rather spectacularly in a odd sort of a way. 18 years of my life passed by without even experiencing a single taste of relationships. I wonder how that feels like. Maybe it is tough, but I believe that it would be sweet in the end. NS is not too far away and very soon I will be immersed in an all male environment except for those occasional female officers who might be too manly for my liking.
5 more days to LOTR