Of A Freaky Day
Dear TomHa,
Today is one of the weirdest day that I had experienced throughout the year. Yes, one of the weirdest as I had experienced worse. First, had my last CA for ME2101 which concludes this module. The very weird thing is that I know how to do all the questions, which is a weird concept ever since I entered Univerisity and that I tuitioned till late in the night yesterday! Wow, other than some careless mistakes here and there, I manage to solve some of those harder questions which the others are complaining about! Hmm.. but like always, simple questions are my downfall... Oh wellzzz..

Next, I went for the only lecture of the week, a marketing module, and always, I fell asleep in it, nothing to talk about, but I went to consult a Prof after that regarding some Frequency response concepts. Funny thing is that I had always hated his lecture and his nasal voice but I enjoyed consulting him just now. What... then he began to nag a little, telling me about why he just refused to provide solutions because he felt that students nowadays are not talking to each other as in his time, which is kind of true. The number of ME pupils that I know can be counted with 3 fingers.. in fact, other than Wenyang and the ex-canoeing team-mates and my current mountaineering team mates, I know no one else! Sad life. Sometimes I wonder what I had been doing all this while. My university social life is really sad..sad..sad... But i am too lazy to do anything about it! So, blame no one...

Well, the weirdest thing happened when I was running along Bukit Batok road. There was this stretch of mango trees and today, many of them are producing mangoes. No, I do not pluck them when I run, and the stench of mangoes that fell and break apart on the ground is terrible, especially when you are fighting for air when running. In any case, one mango fell on my head and it cracked open. How can such thing happen one? Alamak. My head hurt and I stopped a bit and let the pain go away for a moment and crap, opened mango + sweaty head is not an entirely pleasant nasal experience. Decided to finish running anyway, since got only a km more. But aiyo.. the stench was unbearable... It was one of the most freaky thing that can happen to you. To think that I thought I run rather well today.

Well, please stop your strikes, Nepalese. I know democracy is great but please get back to work as that is about the most practical way to help your country grow stronger than protesting.

Sigh.. Nquist plots follows.

Of Rebels and Peace
Dear TomHa,
Had an interesting conversation with my brother today. I do not know how, but we suddenly came upon this topic of the short form for brother, 'bro'. Do you pronounce it as 'Bro'? or do you follow the original and pronounce it as 'Bra'. Very funny. We then started to call each other bra to the very irritation of my mum. Haha, but if you think about it, it really should be pronounced as 'Bra', isn't it? Afterall, bro can mean bronze or things like that...Haha.

Anyway, I think I am rather obsessed with climbing these few days, as the insanity of the exam period is catching up on me. Been reading a lot of National Geographic and I realised that there is a branch of the popular National Geographic Magazine that is called National Geographic Adventure! A very cool read and I really recommend it to anyone who likes cool photos with action and majestic nature intertwined together in a single page. Woohoo! This is way cooler than a pack of Fluid mechanics notes. This month's issue has Cerro Torre, arguably the hardest mountain in the world, in terms of number of successful conquests. Just looking at its picture always make me realise how feeble man is in contrast to the majesty of Mother nature. However, I think the Razor of Queen Maud Land, Antarctica is comparable to this Patagonia's technicalest of all technical mountains.

Nepal is experiencing turmoil, at an increased degree as it is even covered on Channel U and 8 news. In the past, only Channel NewsAsia is concerned about it. And guess what, I am actually reading about it on Straits Times, which had ignored the existence of Nepal for as long as I can remember. Will be monitoring it closely.. Sighzzz... Humans are ugly... as always...

Oh yah, before I forget. Shouldn't Li Ao, as a politician and a thinker or whatever his profession really is, be more diplomatic in his words? Being so brash does not help anyone or in his matter, any ties between any countries.

Of The Time of The Sem!
Dear TomHa,
I think I had told you about this before, but do let me reiterate this point again. I just LOVE exams. It just so signals that It is the END Haha. Yeah, work hard for a few more weeks and then endless fun awaits, I hope. Haha.

Well, recently, especially the last 2 weeks, I had been pondering about somethings. First, it is why I would be wanting to go Nepal in the end, when my parents are not all that willing to let me go? Really weird. I was adamant that I would not go to Nepal, given what that was happening over there. Been pondering about this for a while and the need to find an answer was more so amplified when WS asked why I kao bei-ed so much at the beginning when in the end, I am going to make the decision myself. Hmm... Firstly, BJ's mail about his friend returning safely from Nepal was a great confidence booster. Next, Darren's father's Nepalese friend is not saying Darren is siao to go Nepal anymore, at least not that I had heard of it. My mum's not nagging about the matter, not that she is showing approval though. Lastly, I got inspired by the few National Geographic that I bought which talked about exploration. I will talk about them in another post, I hope, but yeah, all these summed up about all the reasons why I made a 360 degree u-turn in my stance about going Nepal. Maybe another reason is that I thought that money is not enough? Hmm.. But there's Aik Soon money then what.. although not as much... Hmm... Argh...

Been watching a lot of 大长今. Very nice show.Ignited my passion for cooking again. Cooked 饺子yesterday, 拉面the day before. My　拉面 still tasted like shit and look like 面粉果then拉面. Yucks. I wonder when I can make things as good as those palace girls. Hmm...

Of Mis-Orientation
Dear TomHa,
I seriously do not know why I even signed up to be the web IC. I mean, I know nuts about designing a webpage and yet here I am, putting myself into a position of utter discomfort. I know nuts about HTML, as can be seen from my blog whereby the only things I really know how to do is to Bold Things, Italicise things and nothing else. The rest are just stuffs that you can do just by following instructions. Darn it. Perhaps I had wanted to learn something new, but at a time like this? With exams around the corner? Oh crap. Well, hope I can survive that without much hiccups. Removed something from the site and still cannot get it up. Hope the team does not notice it too soon. GRRRR... More googling and more books for me.

Well, been going easy on myself for the weekend, after that many tests and the sucky marketing presentation last week. Gosh.. They had really taken a great toll on me. Lucky I sprained my ankle last assessment and thus could find a reason to not exercise too hard. Thanks for the break. Blessing in disguise I think. But, the main point is that I had survived it. Very good. Kinda proud of myself, haha.　If I can manage to figure out how to do the website properly, would be even more proud of myself, afterall, I had always been rather apprehensive of computer related stuff and that I scored better than average for my programming last sem was just because I had done good things in my previous life. That's all to it. Why am I talking about this IT thing so much?

Daming is getting more and more academic nowadays. Good for him if that's what he wants. He says that I still do not know what I want. Hmm.. Kinda agree with him. But there's been one thing that I know that I had always wanted. To live a carefree and relaxed life, just like Yoh of Shaman King. However, aswhat he says, only a person who had worked and pushed himself really hard will appreciate what a carefree and relaxed life is. Very true, and I guess what i am doing now is to push myself to my limit and see what happens...

A look back at my blogs of this sem. A revelation: None of them had been funny. All are rather whiny or just screwed attempts by me to illustrate my grandiose ambitions. Guess that pretty much sums up what that I am experiencing?

欲上青天揽明月。。。

Of War and Peace..

DSCF0278
Originally uploaded by Minas Morgul.

Dear TomHa,
Long time never corresponded to you already. Really sorry. Not that I did not have the time, but I just did not have the energy to blog. Whatever, I am just lazy. Recently, I had been thinking about lots and lots of things. About what I am going to do after examinations. If all goes well, I will leave for Nepal to climb Mera, come back, work for a month, go for a diving course in July, go diving legally in some places, then go Cambodia. Lots of travelling that I would like to do. Afterall, you can only be young once. Guess, I had begun to see things more openly, and that money is not really meant to be saved in the bank, although my StanChart account really yield rather good interests. I had also though about my next semester. A semester whereby I hope that my Hall application will go through and that I will not join any freaking thing and just concentrate on the Singapore Triathlon and train myself up for an Ironman, if possible, by next year. A lot of reminiscence had also been done.

I remember my working days, as a gardener. A job which many people scorn off but I took it anyway, whether out of desperation or interest, I am still debating until now. Anyhow, I think throughout all my life, those were really THE days. I mean, they were really days that I had enjoyed thoroughly. Everyday, you wake up, have your coffee and breakfast, read the papers, then off to work. Toil and huff and puff and then 5pm comes and WooHoo! Time to relac one corner. I miss the evening sun, not that there aren't any now, but the evening sun when I could sit in one corner of somewhere high, sometimes a tree to read a story book or simply, take a nap and relax. Its those kind of really doing nothing after knowing that you had already worked hard and that you deserved the break that really appeals to me. Also, fiction is still the only kind of binded paper that appeals to me. Actually, action stories only please. haha.

The more I think about it, the more I miss it and the more I am coerced to think about quitting mountaineering altogether. Jieling said that life is just shiok after quitting, with the time that you'll suddenly have in hand. Wa liew, make me envious and tempted to step in her shoes. We'll see how it goes.

What happens if I cannot go Nepal, whether it is because I am just sick of the admin or because of the political situation in that country. I cannot really tell. But a plan is underway, a plan that will definitely make sure that I remained a fulfilled person at the end of the day. Coffee, sunset, a fishing rod, a pond and a good read. Man, I miss those days. Wake me up when this sem ends....

Of Wartime Looms...
Dear TomHa,
How you doing? It has been a long time hasn't it? Well, pretty much couped up with a lot of stuff recently and have no freaking time to update. Well, given that primary schools CA had just ended, I decided that I was to give my tuitees and most importantly myself, a break for the day. Taking things slow. Not doing tutorials (Not that I did them anyway), not doing any mountaineering related stuff. Just taking a sip of tea and read up on some of the old National Geographic issues that I bought along Arts the other time. Very nice pictures.. I wonder when I can take pictures to that standard. Weisheng said that I know the techniques, but it is just the lack of artistic talent that is spoiling my photos. Well, suck thumb.

Today, after stairs training in the morning, which is always torturous no matter how many times I did it, I went for a meal of Mac breakfast. It tasted quite bland, probably due to the training affecting my taste buds, but that is not the main point. I looked around for photographic opportunities only to find out that I forgot my camera, but never mind, I looked and observed anyway. Saw this kid looking earnestly at his father peeling off the wrappings of the Happy Meal Toy and then to smile so handsomely at the toy when it is handed to him. Very picturesque and thought provocative scene. Gone were the days when I can be so easily satisfied by a single toy, by a simple fare of fast food, by just the thought that it is Sunday and Dad's not working. The sheer innocence of satisfaction by all these small small things really made me feel rather old. I felt that as we grow up, we can no longer appreciate the simple things in life. We are bounded by the petty stigmas that had been imbued into everyone. Another thing, Mac's milkmshakes are back! At all dessert kiosks that is. Shall go and relive one of my childhood delight someday.

I had not felt quite as furious as I had a couple of days ago, during one of our regular MIR meetings. The seniors came down, and in numbers. Just looking at that scene already tells me that they were there on agenda. They sat down and began to shoot us down. Saying that we are one of the worst bunch or something along the line. Saying crappy things like 'One day got 24hours, I don't see why you cannot train', 'I can count your trainings by the fingers!', 'MIR is commitment, and commitment is sacrifice!' and many many more. But whatever, I thought, a team is only as strong as its weakest, so no choice have to sit down and listen to all the shit and keep quiet. However, what they commented on those who went for biathlon and my Kinabalu trip was really the last straw. Biathlon is not like I today race, I today sign up. We signed up long time ago. Overseas trip is not something you want to go, you pack and go. We planned for it long long time ago. We even asked them for advice and things like that about what route to take, which airline better and etc... But what they did on thursday was really incredible. They began to say how unfocused we are, that we shouldn't have gone Kinabalu, sacrificing our trainings in the process. What the fuck!? I could not hold it any longer. I retorted, in the most unfriendly tone. It was those kind of tone which you hear and you know that there is some TNT in the end. Super angry. What the fuck are they trying to do? Giving us shit only when we are back and muttering nothing before that? I mean I am not unreasonable enough to go for Kinabalu when I realise that I am wrong to actually sacrifice team training for the trip. Seriously, I really did not think too much into skipping training before that. But if they jolt something into me, I would have certainly called it off! But no! The whole team knows we are going! No one stopped me! In those kind of situation, why wouldn't I go, given that I had the money! But we came back and then they gave us shit. CCB... If not for my liking for climbing, and all the work that I had done thus far, I swore I would have walked out of the room and say "Goodbye...Fuck you..."

Anyhow, it is not worth being angry this kind of thing. You have to sympathis these people as they are borned fucked up. Which is a sad thing. Another observance was that I was the only one who talked back. Teammates were rather silent, in fact, silent. I find it rather sad. Sigh... Like that how can?

Whatever, going to enjoy my simple things in life today and my mum wants me to drive her to buy 4D. Haha. Lucky woman.

No Dream Too High, No Journey Too Tough??

Reading at High Altitude
Originally uploaded by Minas Morgul.

Dear TomHa,
Recently, I am going through a mini depression, economically and mentally and emotionally.

Economically, I really do not know where my money are all going to. I am like doing 20hours of tuition each week for this month and yet, money is like always flowing OUT of my bank account. I mean, given that I had not even get most of the things that I want and need and that I am even trying to save money by surviving on bread and lettuces and tomatoes and boiled chicken that I coped from the fridge every now and then, I seriously do not see why the outflow outweighs the inflow by THAT much. I serously am not going to achieve my savings aim by the end of my graduation. Freak.

Mentally, I am seriously shacked. All the mountaineering stuffs, all the marketing stuffs, all the media launch stuffs and all the schoolwork stuff. Next week is hell week. I have like 4 common tests, a media launch for my mountaineering team and to top it off, I still have a thousand word essay that I still have no idea what the question is. Leader is breathing down our necks for our Marketing and Media Launch. I don't blame him. I am sure he is way way more shacked than us. Sometimes I wonder is it is my problems with time management, but given that ever since semester started, other than a few hours of sleep each day, some time for eating and lecture time for my naps, I seriously do not see where the other time had gone to. Every free time I have is spent researching companies to call and email, and clearing email like I am some NSF clerk, or training, or tuitioning. Now, I even have to subcontract my mum to help me with my own household chores which I seemingly can't find the time for. Man, wake me up when semester ends...

Emotionally, I don't think I have to say much. It is Valentine's next week.

Another weekend, somehow, I no longer look forward to each day like when I was young anymore. Throw me into a jungle devoid of responsibilities but my own survival ba!

Part II of Chicken year lookback had been pushed further back...

Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chicken

Glacier Travel
Originally uploaded by Minas Morgul.

Dear TomHa,
As requested, I shall update my blog.
Well, how should I start? Feeling rather rusty from a few weeks of inactivity from the blogosphere. Oh well, let me start with the photo. My teammates had been saying that the photo is probably the best photo that I had ever taken throughout my New Zealand stint. I cannot agree more. I find the lighting, exposure all in good balance and most of all, it really shows some action as we tackle a slope that really took most of the juices out of me. However, I am sighing that I am not inside the photo. A photographer's plight, I guess.

Looking back, I realise that I had not reflected on the year 2005. Well, I should think that it is not too late for me to reflect on the year of the chicken instead. Well, the year of the chicken saw me going backto row for the NUS canoeing sprint team, albeit for a short stint. Seriously, I found myself to be slower than I was in HC. Perhaps it is because I had only paddled for a short period of like 3months before self-ejecting myself from the team? I am not sure, although I am quite sure that I had put in quite the same effort as I did in HC. Hmm.. perhaps I was right to have ejected myself from the team. It was time to move on and moved on, I really did.

I found a new passion. Perhaps it would be more apt to say that I rekindled a passion. A passion for the mountains, a passion for climbing. Since young, I had climbed lots of trees in rural Malaysia. Be it to pluck mangoes or just to climb up to relac one corner, I just loved the feeling of being 'up there'. Somehow, I lost that feeling somewhere in my growing up years. Not that I lost it completely though, as my years are punctuated with a lot of trips to Ophir and camping in Taman Negara in Pahang. Very cool stuff. I just enjoy the great outdoors, man, very serene feeling. Anyway, I rekindled this passion after my stint with tree climbing in June whereby it is more than just climbing to pluck mangoes. It was far more technical whereby the complexity of ropeworks never fail to amaze me. With a rekindled eye for adventure, I proceed to join a club that I would not regret for the rest of my life, although seriously, the expenses are astounding. Haha.

Joining this club exposed me to a lot of things. First thing first, I was compelled to look for sponsors. We found some, but it was not enough. Hence, we had to fork out money of our own to fuel our course in New Zealand. Shall not elaborate much, but the trip to New Zealand taught me a lot of things, not just the deluge of necessarry technical skills, but also a new perspective on life. You risk your life in high places of the Earth, and then you realise that actually, one should really take life easier. It would be a much happier life. You realised that whatever that you had been worrying about is nothing compared to cherishing whatever you have. Yes, I am no longer concerned about being the fastest, the strongest or whatever in the same line. I had reached zen. Haha. You'll realised how weak you are. That in the face of adversity, no matter how strong you are, you will break at some point. Be huumble and ask for help. It is only right.

Argh.. very tired.. go and sleep first. There will be a part 2..