Of why Brazil and England lost...

The conspiracy theorist's version

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Dear TomHa,
It appears to me that the whole world is weeping over the apparent lost of the joga bonita and, well, the inventors of the beautiful game. Well, I have to dispute that, football is not exactly beautiful, compared to fast pace games like basketball and games of great passion like baseball, yes, I watch baseball, will get onto that later. Football can get pretty boring at times and highlights are certainly a better watch, but whatever, I watch it noetheless and quite ardently as well. Over here in this latest entry, in accordance to the ongoing World Cup which had deprived me of much sleep the past few days, I shall give you all my take on why Brazil and England lost, rather pathetically in the quarter finals.

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Brazil lost because, apparently, as I reiterate this for the umpteenth time in this World Cup, This is not a NIKE year!!! Haha. yes, if you look at the World Cup from 1990 onwards, the World Cups have been splitted between Nike and Adidas alternately between each Cup. 1990, Germany (adidas), 1994, Brazil (Nike), 1998, France (adidas), 2002, Brazil (Nike). Yes, and hence, this was not to be a Nike year and in a game of attrition between a adidas and a nike sponsored team, 2006 proved that alas, it is the time of the 3 stripes. Woohoo!

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England, the land of the English, the self-proclaimed inventors of the game yet still living in the memory of the 1966 win was never a title winner just looking at how they play to bore us to death. However, judging from how lucky they were in eking out wins over the minnows without having to play much, I seriously thought they could really ride on that luck all the way to the finals. But apparently, they were still lucky this quarter finals only that Sven made that one grave mistake that quite literally sent England's WC dreams to the grave. He allowed his players' WAGS, wives and girlfriends to travel with his players. That was a grave mistake as the players not only have to worry about the black and white ball rolling about the pitch, they also have to worry about the gold, black, platinum, whatever color card being swiped about the cash register as their WAGS went about a shopping spree in Deutchland. Ha. Alas, in the end, they just thought that a month of competition is too long a time to stay on and see their hard-earned euros get wasted down the drains. Hence, Lampard, Gerrard and Carragher conspired to put their penalties rather wayward to give Portugal the win. Owen Hargreaves, who pledge his trade for German club, Bayern Munich is comfortable with the fact that his wife, having been living in Germany for a good few years, have not much stuff to buy and hence, became the only English to slot in the penalty. All hail the WAGS!

You might ask, but Portugal? They are Nike sponsored! Yes that is true, but in the last 16 years, have you even seen a umbro shirt in the finals?

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So, in the end, can the Azzurris break the cartel of Nike and adidas domination and allow Puma a chance to shine? That still remains to be seen. And given that the trend had always been a Nike and adidas final all these years, I predict a Germany - Portugal final with the Germans going on to win it.

Impossible is Nothing