Mera

Mera
Originally uploaded by Minas Morgul.

Dear TomHa,
So it has been confirmed. That the team will be climbing Mera Peak, 6646m this coming semester break. I have mixed feelings about this. Afterall, the peak that I had researched most and felt like we would have most chance to climb and feel proud of because of its difficulty is being rejected thoroughly by the seniors and the directors and in the end, voted out by the team. Mera Peak, though high, is not really technically difficult. I would not say taht Mera is chicken feet, in fact I would just shudder at the thought of going up so high. Altitude is your worst enemy. However, Mera is not technical, and as 1 senior fondly puts it, you should be able to summit it if you just keep going on, keep going on and on. Nothing too technical about it. Perhaps it is my lack of experience or what, I am not sure. This certainly felt like canoeing again and I hate that. You just keep on going, doing the same thing and hope that you do it well. Pretty no brainer if you are all trained properly. Oh well, let's see if I even get to go Nepal in the first place.

So, it is the third week of the semester already and boy do I feel tired every single day. Not to mention that I picked an awfully inappropriate time of getting hooked on the anime 'Bleach' in this period whereby 24hours per day is really not enough. Tired everyday, dragging my feet everyday, things got worse when you have to drag your feet and your mountaineering backpack laden with 15kg of rice and stuff, not counting my books for school. Damn it. This is tough, but what to do?

I hate teaching things that I hated learning. I mean, I had always hated learning in school except for some subjects, and now here I am, disciplining kids for not doing their homework. Darn, how hypocritical. In the end, I find that I am just another lucky guy who just had enough in him to grind out sufficiently good results that should ensure him a middle class living in the future.

I hate running. Yesterday's training sums it all up. I ran in a crappy time of like 25min for 5km??!! What the hell? I just feel so out of breath and unmotivated. I mean, I am not like some people who can run on and on for like eternity and yet can take some joy out of running. I don't. I run marathons because it was one of my before-21 resolutions. I run because it is mandatory in all the sports that I like. I mean, if you have to fight off negative thoughts like "I am going to die, I cannot make it, I am a pussy, Why am I running in the first place? You are a damn loser, and etc etc" during ALLyour runs, and you have to fight them off ALL the time, would you like running? I don't, but I have to do it.

Wah, what a piece of whiny essay. It appears that I am really getting on my years. Perhaps I should watch some more episodes of Bleach.

Chire!
Senbonzakura... Ouch.