Of War and Peace..

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Originally uploaded by Minas Morgul.

Dear TomHa,
Long time never corresponded to you already. Really sorry. Not that I did not have the time, but I just did not have the energy to blog. Whatever, I am just lazy. Recently, I had been thinking about lots and lots of things. About what I am going to do after examinations. If all goes well, I will leave for Nepal to climb Mera, come back, work for a month, go for a diving course in July, go diving legally in some places, then go Cambodia. Lots of travelling that I would like to do. Afterall, you can only be young once. Guess, I had begun to see things more openly, and that money is not really meant to be saved in the bank, although my StanChart account really yield rather good interests. I had also though about my next semester. A semester whereby I hope that my Hall application will go through and that I will not join any freaking thing and just concentrate on the Singapore Triathlon and train myself up for an Ironman, if possible, by next year. A lot of reminiscence had also been done.

I remember my working days, as a gardener. A job which many people scorn off but I took it anyway, whether out of desperation or interest, I am still debating until now. Anyhow, I think throughout all my life, those were really THE days. I mean, they were really days that I had enjoyed thoroughly. Everyday, you wake up, have your coffee and breakfast, read the papers, then off to work. Toil and huff and puff and then 5pm comes and WooHoo! Time to relac one corner. I miss the evening sun, not that there aren't any now, but the evening sun when I could sit in one corner of somewhere high, sometimes a tree to read a story book or simply, take a nap and relax. Its those kind of really doing nothing after knowing that you had already worked hard and that you deserved the break that really appeals to me. Also, fiction is still the only kind of binded paper that appeals to me. Actually, action stories only please. haha.

The more I think about it, the more I miss it and the more I am coerced to think about quitting mountaineering altogether. Jieling said that life is just shiok after quitting, with the time that you'll suddenly have in hand. Wa liew, make me envious and tempted to step in her shoes. We'll see how it goes.

What happens if I cannot go Nepal, whether it is because I am just sick of the admin or because of the political situation in that country. I cannot really tell. But a plan is underway, a plan that will definitely make sure that I remained a fulfilled person at the end of the day. Coffee, sunset, a fishing rod, a pond and a good read. Man, I miss those days. Wake me up when this sem ends....

Of Wartime Looms...
Dear TomHa,
How you doing? It has been a long time hasn't it? Well, pretty much couped up with a lot of stuff recently and have no freaking time to update. Well, given that primary schools CA had just ended, I decided that I was to give my tuitees and most importantly myself, a break for the day. Taking things slow. Not doing tutorials (Not that I did them anyway), not doing any mountaineering related stuff. Just taking a sip of tea and read up on some of the old National Geographic issues that I bought along Arts the other time. Very nice pictures.. I wonder when I can take pictures to that standard. Weisheng said that I know the techniques, but it is just the lack of artistic talent that is spoiling my photos. Well, suck thumb.

Today, after stairs training in the morning, which is always torturous no matter how many times I did it, I went for a meal of Mac breakfast. It tasted quite bland, probably due to the training affecting my taste buds, but that is not the main point. I looked around for photographic opportunities only to find out that I forgot my camera, but never mind, I looked and observed anyway. Saw this kid looking earnestly at his father peeling off the wrappings of the Happy Meal Toy and then to smile so handsomely at the toy when it is handed to him. Very picturesque and thought provocative scene. Gone were the days when I can be so easily satisfied by a single toy, by a simple fare of fast food, by just the thought that it is Sunday and Dad's not working. The sheer innocence of satisfaction by all these small small things really made me feel rather old. I felt that as we grow up, we can no longer appreciate the simple things in life. We are bounded by the petty stigmas that had been imbued into everyone. Another thing, Mac's milkmshakes are back! At all dessert kiosks that is. Shall go and relive one of my childhood delight someday.

I had not felt quite as furious as I had a couple of days ago, during one of our regular MIR meetings. The seniors came down, and in numbers. Just looking at that scene already tells me that they were there on agenda. They sat down and began to shoot us down. Saying that we are one of the worst bunch or something along the line. Saying crappy things like 'One day got 24hours, I don't see why you cannot train', 'I can count your trainings by the fingers!', 'MIR is commitment, and commitment is sacrifice!' and many many more. But whatever, I thought, a team is only as strong as its weakest, so no choice have to sit down and listen to all the shit and keep quiet. However, what they commented on those who went for biathlon and my Kinabalu trip was really the last straw. Biathlon is not like I today race, I today sign up. We signed up long time ago. Overseas trip is not something you want to go, you pack and go. We planned for it long long time ago. We even asked them for advice and things like that about what route to take, which airline better and etc... But what they did on thursday was really incredible. They began to say how unfocused we are, that we shouldn't have gone Kinabalu, sacrificing our trainings in the process. What the fuck!? I could not hold it any longer. I retorted, in the most unfriendly tone. It was those kind of tone which you hear and you know that there is some TNT in the end. Super angry. What the fuck are they trying to do? Giving us shit only when we are back and muttering nothing before that? I mean I am not unreasonable enough to go for Kinabalu when I realise that I am wrong to actually sacrifice team training for the trip. Seriously, I really did not think too much into skipping training before that. But if they jolt something into me, I would have certainly called it off! But no! The whole team knows we are going! No one stopped me! In those kind of situation, why wouldn't I go, given that I had the money! But we came back and then they gave us shit. CCB... If not for my liking for climbing, and all the work that I had done thus far, I swore I would have walked out of the room and say "Goodbye...Fuck you..."

Anyhow, it is not worth being angry this kind of thing. You have to sympathis these people as they are borned fucked up. Which is a sad thing. Another observance was that I was the only one who talked back. Teammates were rather silent, in fact, silent. I find it rather sad. Sigh... Like that how can?

Whatever, going to enjoy my simple things in life today and my mum wants me to drive her to buy 4D. Haha. Lucky woman.