No Dream Too High, No Journey Too Tough??

Reading at High Altitude
Originally uploaded by Minas Morgul.

Dear TomHa,
Recently, I am going through a mini depression, economically and mentally and emotionally.

Economically, I really do not know where my money are all going to. I am like doing 20hours of tuition each week for this month and yet, money is like always flowing OUT of my bank account. I mean, given that I had not even get most of the things that I want and need and that I am even trying to save money by surviving on bread and lettuces and tomatoes and boiled chicken that I coped from the fridge every now and then, I seriously do not see why the outflow outweighs the inflow by THAT much. I serously am not going to achieve my savings aim by the end of my graduation. Freak.

Mentally, I am seriously shacked. All the mountaineering stuffs, all the marketing stuffs, all the media launch stuffs and all the schoolwork stuff. Next week is hell week. I have like 4 common tests, a media launch for my mountaineering team and to top it off, I still have a thousand word essay that I still have no idea what the question is. Leader is breathing down our necks for our Marketing and Media Launch. I don't blame him. I am sure he is way way more shacked than us. Sometimes I wonder is it is my problems with time management, but given that ever since semester started, other than a few hours of sleep each day, some time for eating and lecture time for my naps, I seriously do not see where the other time had gone to. Every free time I have is spent researching companies to call and email, and clearing email like I am some NSF clerk, or training, or tuitioning. Now, I even have to subcontract my mum to help me with my own household chores which I seemingly can't find the time for. Man, wake me up when semester ends...

Emotionally, I don't think I have to say much. It is Valentine's next week.

Another weekend, somehow, I no longer look forward to each day like when I was young anymore. Throw me into a jungle devoid of responsibilities but my own survival ba!

Part II of Chicken year lookback had been pushed further back...

Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chicken

Glacier Travel
Originally uploaded by Minas Morgul.

Dear TomHa,
As requested, I shall update my blog.
Well, how should I start? Feeling rather rusty from a few weeks of inactivity from the blogosphere. Oh well, let me start with the photo. My teammates had been saying that the photo is probably the best photo that I had ever taken throughout my New Zealand stint. I cannot agree more. I find the lighting, exposure all in good balance and most of all, it really shows some action as we tackle a slope that really took most of the juices out of me. However, I am sighing that I am not inside the photo. A photographer's plight, I guess.

Looking back, I realise that I had not reflected on the year 2005. Well, I should think that it is not too late for me to reflect on the year of the chicken instead. Well, the year of the chicken saw me going backto row for the NUS canoeing sprint team, albeit for a short stint. Seriously, I found myself to be slower than I was in HC. Perhaps it is because I had only paddled for a short period of like 3months before self-ejecting myself from the team? I am not sure, although I am quite sure that I had put in quite the same effort as I did in HC. Hmm.. perhaps I was right to have ejected myself from the team. It was time to move on and moved on, I really did.

I found a new passion. Perhaps it would be more apt to say that I rekindled a passion. A passion for the mountains, a passion for climbing. Since young, I had climbed lots of trees in rural Malaysia. Be it to pluck mangoes or just to climb up to relac one corner, I just loved the feeling of being 'up there'. Somehow, I lost that feeling somewhere in my growing up years. Not that I lost it completely though, as my years are punctuated with a lot of trips to Ophir and camping in Taman Negara in Pahang. Very cool stuff. I just enjoy the great outdoors, man, very serene feeling. Anyway, I rekindled this passion after my stint with tree climbing in June whereby it is more than just climbing to pluck mangoes. It was far more technical whereby the complexity of ropeworks never fail to amaze me. With a rekindled eye for adventure, I proceed to join a club that I would not regret for the rest of my life, although seriously, the expenses are astounding. Haha.

Joining this club exposed me to a lot of things. First thing first, I was compelled to look for sponsors. We found some, but it was not enough. Hence, we had to fork out money of our own to fuel our course in New Zealand. Shall not elaborate much, but the trip to New Zealand taught me a lot of things, not just the deluge of necessarry technical skills, but also a new perspective on life. You risk your life in high places of the Earth, and then you realise that actually, one should really take life easier. It would be a much happier life. You realised that whatever that you had been worrying about is nothing compared to cherishing whatever you have. Yes, I am no longer concerned about being the fastest, the strongest or whatever in the same line. I had reached zen. Haha. You'll realised how weak you are. That in the face of adversity, no matter how strong you are, you will break at some point. Be huumble and ask for help. It is only right.

Argh.. very tired.. go and sleep first. There will be a part 2..